You might say I've just been through a trial phase of life. It was one of those times where I knew God was working on me, and I just kept looking to forward to getting through it. Now I'm through it and feel a little directionless. I'm back to where I was a year ago as far as physical location is concerned.
I keep thinking, "Now what?"
I want what I learned in the last year to change how I live. I want to be comfortable and to enjoy life, but I don't want to settle into life and forget I need God's help every single minute. I want to know God's working on me but not have to have it be painful. I don't want to settle into a meaningless existence by getting caught in the rush and excitement of life with so many options.
I've been thinking those things and then our sermon at church today talked about how we need to be demonstrating to the world around us in a tangible way that Jesus is King. I think of it as working to create heaven on earth. How should I be doing that? Maybe the answer to that is the answer to my wonder of what my purspose is now.
Is my purpose just to keep my kids entertained, educated and socialized through every day of the summer? Is it just to be a help and encouragement to Mr Robertson Electric? I like to do both of those things, but I feel like I need more purpose than that. Is that a right or wrong feeling? I don't know. How by being a mom and wife can I help the world (not just my home) be more like God intended?
I know my purpose it to glorify God, so for now I'll try to keep going step by step, abiding in Him. Hopefully when God shows me a way I can demonstrate His kingdom I'll jump at the opportunity. All I know is I want to keep on the upward trail and don't want to go back to how I was when I lived here before. I am thankful God says He won't quit on me, and I pray I live with my ear open to what He wants from me each day. I think I might even be okay if what He wants for me ends up making me a little uncomfortable.